Essay 2: Organization

GENERAL OBSERVATIONS TO HELP THOSE OF YOU WHO WISH TO REVISE ESSAY 2

Remember that on your grading rubric, there is a due date for revision. This due date is real. I won't accept revisions after that date. Also, if you are reading this and have not handed in the first draft, I will not allow any student to revise who has not submitted the essay by tomorrow, Wed. May 27, 2020. The first draft will be the final draft; hence, the grade one gets is the final grade.

First, when I graded the papers, I noticed that some people did not make changes according to my comments on the low stakes paragraphs. Perhaps you intended to make those changes but forgot. In any case, it's not a good thing to forget, and those who did should go back to the original email I sent and make the changes.

One of the main problems in the essays was that writers did not include literary terms or perhaps only one. For each essay, you are expected to include 3 literary terms by name. (Remember that you do NOT define them, since you are writing for an audience that is knowledgeable about both literature and literary criticism.) In category 3, the absence of literary terms cost people a lot of points (even if grammar and style were fine), but when students included several of them, it was helpful to the grade. Everyone could use the terms dialogue and soliloquy.  Macbeth is a play with many soliloquies, so if you don't quote and identify at least one, there's something incomplete about your essay. The third literary term could be motif, conflict, trope, image, twist, irony, or various others. Motif is commonly used in the analysis of plays.

Do not summarize the whole plot of the play. Your reader has read the play. You use examples from the play to support the main aspects of your thesis, but only AFTER the topic sentence of each body paragraph.

Do not quote the title of the article by any of the critics. The title will be identified in your Works Cited. Just give the critic's name.

When you have a quote inside a quote, use    "  '      '       "

When you are quoting Shakespeare's verse (iambic pentameter--see Writing and Literature Text--literary terms) and the quoted passage is longer than four lines, use a block quote. If you are unfamiliar with block quotes, find examples through Google Image.

When you are quoting Shakespeare's verse within your paragraph (four lines or fewer), to indicate the end of a line and the beginning of the next, put a slash: / .  For our poetry unit, you may quote lines that are between stanzas as well, in which case you do a double slash:  // .   In some of your papers, I push slashes in for your first quotation.







SAMPLE BODY PARAGRAPHS FOR OUR DISCUSSION

When you meet someone for the first time, you create your first impression of them. The first impression is a look back of what something or someone was to you before vs the present. At times, the first or original impression can be similar to others. [TF: In the first sentence of a body paragraph, don't make a generalization  about experience; just start by applying the generalization to the actual text.  So, instead of the first 3 sentences, you can say something like: Like his nobleman, King Duncan has a positive impression of Macbeth because of how well the latter has served him in the past. ]  Act 1, scene 2 starts with King Duncan getting informed about the revolt and what Macbeth had done, having Duncan later indicate, “What he hath lost, noble Macbeth hath won” ( Shakespeare, 1.2.8). Duncan’s original impression, others as well, was that Macbeth was strong and brave, a hero, and this is the reason Duncan gave Macbeth the throne [It's not a kingdom, so we can't quite call it a throne-- instead say: the position of Thane of Cawdor.] of Cawdor. Macbeth has been a trustworthy person who was there to save the day when they thought almost lost.

[The middle and end parts of this body paragraph are effective, but you should move the clause, "having Duncan later indicate . . . (Shakespeare, 1.2.8) AFTER the next sentence--using a colon after the word "Cawdor."] 

In a (   ) citation, it is correct, as the writer above has done to use the author's last name for the first time that you quote the play. After that, you can just put Act, scene, lines in the parentheses.

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           Macbeth has a unique set of ethics in which I would classify as egoism. Ethical egoism, is a belief in which it is always right to do what is most beneficial for yourself. In this mindset it would be considered morally obligatory to act out of self interest, in this case even performing and orchestrating terrible acts. When Macbeth visits the witches for the second time to learn more of his future out of fear for his well-being, he displays these ethics in by stating:

I conjure you by that which you profess-

Howe'er you come to know it-answer me. 

Though you untie the winds and let them fight 

against the churches, though the yeasty waves 

confound and swallow navigation up, 

though bladed corn be lodged and trees blown down, 

though castles topple on their warders' heads, 

though palaces and pyramids do slope 

their heads to their foundations, through the treasure 

of nature's germens tumble all together, 

even till destruction sicken, answer me 

to what I ask you. (4.1.50-61)

Here we can observe a complete disregard for the welfare of the kingdom and nature itself; Macbeth is even willing to sacrifice all that he referred to in exchange for more prophecies of the future. He is motivated by the outcome regardless of whether his intentions are lawful or not. This is an example of teleology, in which egoism comes from where the consequences justify the actions. 

The body paragraph above achieves its goal of supporting the main idea in the topic sentence with an effective I Q A structure. Further enhancement of the paragraph could be achieved if the writer actually comments on the specific language of the quoted passage, which is full of exaggeration. In general, if you're going to quote a substantial passage, you need to look at its poetic language; if you don't want to do that in a specific case, use a shorter quote or a hybrid quote that includes only a few words of Shakespeare's text in a sentence that includes your words. I believe I discuss the "hybrid quote" in our Writing and Literature Textbook.

The writer is using a block quote, but it was originally put in paragraph form, unless the copy/paste format undid the lines when I transferred it. Whenever you quote the verse sections of the play--left-hand side, of course--you need to use the exact verse lines (iambic pentameter) of the play. Don't use paragraphs.

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The power of persuasion is a mastered skill which Lady Macbeth exercised on her husband throughout the play.  Ironically, the act of persuasion (during Renaissance times) would have been considered a delicate “feminine” art form often used to influence those without the use of force.  In the following excerpt, Shakespeare's motif of spirits signifies “good” intensions with regards to Lady Macbeth’s tone and tactic on influencing Macbeth:  "Hie thee hither,/ That I might pour my spirits in thine ear/ And chastise with the valor of my tongue/ All that impedes thee from the golden round...." (I,5,24-27).  “Spirits” can be interpreted as words of encouragement since Lady Macbeth reciprocates as she considers herself to be her husband’s best “cheerleader.”  On the other hand, her use of the word “chastise” implies a negative female connotation when implying Macbeth’s hinderance from wanting to obtain the crown. 

[This is an excellent use of I Q A to support the "sub-thesis" (main point related to the thesis) in the topic sentence, especially because the writer analyzes the actual language of the quoted passage. The attention to those 2 key words is highly specific. What I would suggest to the writer to accomplish in the next paragraph--which he or she is probably already intending to do-- is to perform the same kind of close reading on the language of GENDER in Lady M's persuasive discourse.]



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2nd body paragraph: (Macbeth and his reactions; explain the significance for his desires, conscience, and fears);

The play starts off with both Banquo and Macbeth fresh from their respective victories in battle and on their way to meet King Duncan. [In your topic sentence, don't just tell the plot; assume the reader knows the plot. Instead, start with a point you are trying to prove, which is that he doesn't trust them, and then you note that later in the paragraph, he gains some confidence.. See my idea below this paragraph *] However, they cross paths with the Three Witches, fortune tellers who greet Macbeth as, “All hail Macbeth, that shalt be king hereafter” (1.3.50). While at first taken aback by this, both him and Banquo question the validity of this statement, due to its extravagance, and yet they ask the witches to tell them more. Macbeth himself says, “stay, you imperfect speakers, tell me more,” (1.3.70) Macbeth’s use of the word “imperfect” implies that he does not yet trust what the witches tell him and is therefore calling them liars. This is in contrast to how he actually feels, at this point Macbeth is eager to know how accurate this prophecy is. Macbeth displays a willingness to stay and listen to what the witches will say and this showcases that Macbeth has ambition to be more than what he already is. At the end of this interaction Macbeth takes on a different character for himself, his mind has been opened to the possibility of being more than he is. When part of the witches prophecy turns to be true and  Macbeth becomes Thane of Cawdor, Banquo states the following, “to win us to our harm, / The instruments of darkness tell us truths, / Win us with honest trifles, to betray’s / In deepest consequence, ” (1.3. 125-128). In stating this, Banquo foreshadows Macbeth’s future demise and while Macbeth is happy that part of the prophecy has come true, it proves that becoming a king is no longer just a dream but a reality, and this new reality changes him. 

* When Banquo and Macbeth, fresh from their respective victories on their way to meet King Duncan, cross paths with the Three Witches, who declare, “All hail Macbeth, that shalt be king hereafter” (1.3.50), Macbeth, using the word "imperfect," at first does not trust what he hears: "Stay, you imperfect speakers, tell me more. . . " (1.3.70).

Remember that these outlines convey a good structure for the essay (not exactly what you are going to argue) and that some of you may leave out one section of analysis so that you can devote additional paragraphs to some other sections of analysis. 

Remember that my abbreviation I Q A means: Introduce a quote    Quote the passage   Analyze the passage

For all outlines, use literary terms--especially dialogue and soliloquy-- wherever they fit, in SEVERAL body paragraphs. 

Topic 1 Outline (Elvin's) [obviously, your thesis may be different from his; therefore, some of your supporting points will also be different]:

1)  Introduction (The problems of male dominance and how the 2 articles support my thesis)
           2) Duncan’s relationship with Malcom/ Duncan’s relationship with Macbeth, I Q A of dialogue & I Q A of Abdalla

3     3) Siward and his son’s relationship,  I Q A of dialogue & I Q A of Abdalla OR Kimbrough

4     4)  Banquo and his son’s relationship  I Q A of dialogue & I Q A of Abdalla

5     5)  Lady Macbeth’s unsex me scene (Giving birth to death), I Q A, & I Q A of Abdalla and perhaps Kimbrough

6      6) Macbeth and Lady Macbeth’s first interaction,  I Q A 

7       7)   Lady Macduff and her son (Victims of Political over domestic)

8       8) Macduff choosing Political over domestic I Q A of dialogue & I Q A of Abdalla

9        9)   Malcom and Macduff scene (feel it like a man) I Q A & I Q A of Kimbrough OR Abdalla

1        10) Lady Macbeth’s confusion as a woman with patriarchal ideas I Q A of play & critic

1       11) Macbeth and Lady Macbeth’s potential for human fulfillment, I Q A from Kimbrough 

1       12) Conclusion (My wrap of the essay/ how important my thesis is to the play and the real world)

THESIS: Throughout Macbeth, Shakespeare criticizes male dominance by portraying to the audience that gender barriers  hurt us while proving why humanism is the best way of life.

·     Each body paragraph will be supported by either Article. [TF: In general, it is better NOT to use a quote from the secondary sources (critics) in every paragraph, but to limit the critics to 2 - 4 body paragraphs. However, in THIS case, it's quite possible to find that 1 of the 2 critics' ideas is extremely relevant to almost all of the topics in Elvin's paragraphs. My additions of I Q As from the critics in the outline above are just examples; you don't have to use so many quotes from the critics]

Alternate topic 1 outline [This outline deals with fewer topics but gives more space to M and Lady M through attention to multiple dialogues):

Topic 1  (include the critics  wherever they fit in any 2-4 paragraphs):

1. Introduction

2. I Q A,  Dialogue between Duncan and Malcolm & I Q A of Abdalla

3.    "       Dialogue between Lady Macduff/her son

4. – 5. "   Dialogue between Malcolm and Macduff & I Q A of Abdalla and Kimbrough

6. – 7. First dialogue between Macbeth and Lady Macbeth

8. – 9. Second dialogue between Macbeth and Lady Macbeth

10. – 11. Third dialogue between Macbeth and Lady Macbeth

12. conclusion    

[My purpose in organizing this outline by dialogues was to show how each dialogue reveals something about gender roles & attitude. It encourages close reading of the passages, since 2 paragraphs can be devoted to a single dialogue.  However, if you can find a soliloquy that reveals this, then you can substitute a soliloquy or 2 for the analysis of 1 or 2 dialogues.]

Topic 2 outline (Sam's):

      I -  II.      Introduction.   [This requires significant quotation from research--hence 2 paragraphs.]

.    Introduce the reader the relations of power during Shakespeare’s Era in Europe. 

III. Macbeth appeals to the divine right of kings: Macbeth perceives the King as a God to whom one pays tribute and, more importantly. I Q A of at least one critical source.

IV. Macbeth respects the king but he wants to be king

a.    Even when Macbeth is conspiring against his master's life, he is emphatic about his fondness for the King.

V. Macbeth’s motives are also domestic.

a.    He is anxious to prove himself as brave to his wife, who doubts his capacities and valor to kill Duncan

VI.  Abdalla:  Shakespeare’s play not a "vehicle for endorsing James I" (Abdalla 2), re divine right of kings conferring absolute power.  Abdalla offers us irrefutable support for her claim that Shakespeare's work is not an endorsement but rather a work to present the dichotomy of power (political and domestic power). 

VII. I Q A of dialogues/ soliloquy in play to support Abdalla's claim

VIII. Jame’s I perception of power. 

a.    King James I acknowledges the existence of a domestic sphere within monarchic power itself.  He assures the King is master (political power) and father (domestic power) of his subjects.

IX. Sexuality and its traits to portray power. 

a.    Another critical aspect of the behavior of monarchical rights in 16th century Europe is sexuality. However, thus not politically strictly, it is relevant to understanding the hushed sexism nature of power in Shakespeare's monarchical era.  I Q A of soliloquy & or dialogue(s) in the play.

X-XI.  Examples of how sexuality appears often to describe the dichotomy of power in 16th century Europe. 

a.    Macbeth's personality is a combination of manly and womanly traits. I Q A of soliloquy & or dialogue(s) in the play.

XII. Conclusion. 

a.    Your thesis.   Sam writes: the dichotomy expressed through a sexuality-like metaphor also appeals to Abdalla's thesis on the two different spheres of power- domestic and political power.

Topic 2--Alternate Outline  [My purpose in this alternate outline is to focus on characters' relationships in the play as indications of Shakespeare's representation of & attitude toward power relations. There should be an I Q A from dialogues and soliloquies in the play in the 3rd to 11th body paragraphs.]

1. Introduction

2.  Divine right of kings (Abdalla)

3. Alternate theories (Abdalla)

4. – 5. Duncan/Macbeth relationship  (Kimbrough or Cauchi)

6. – 7. Banquo/Macbeth relationship

8. Macbeth and Lady Macbeth’s actions as king & queen

9. – 10. Macduff/Malcolm alliance

11. Significance of ending of play

12. conclusion    

Topic 3 outline (combination of Brittany's and Madelin's):

First introduce the play, author, and theme. Then state the thesis (unless you want to leave it until the conclusion--your choice): Macbeth blinded by his own ambition to be king, crosses moral lines and loses part of himself in the process. This can be seen towards the end when he finds out his wife has died and has to confront the question of what was the purpose of his recent actions. 

2. - 3. I Q A the Three Witches' prophecies for Macbeth and his reactions; explain the significance for his desires, conscience, and fears. I Q A of Cauchi.

4. - 5. I Q A Lady Macbeth and how her ambitions push Macbeth to commit regicide; they are aligned in their desire to be king and queen of Scotland. Answer question of whether her influence or his desire is most important. I Q A of Kimbrough: Lady M's "ungendering" in relation to her influence on M.

6. Connect Macbeth's action in killing Duncan, king of Scotland via I Q A to Abdalla’s article and what it means to be a legitimate king, and indicate how this action brings out his conscience (possible sense of guilt) and fears. 

7. I Q A about the psychological significance of Macbeth's hallucination of Banquo's ghost, and the interference of Macbeth's desire (and perhaps his fear) to maintain power with his guilt.  

8. - 9. I Q A of later stages of Macbeth's psychological deterioration during or after second scene of prophecy with 3 witches and the apparitions, including his response to knowledge of 
Macduff /Malcolm alliance. I Q A from either Cauchi or Kimbrough.

10. I Q A of Macbeth's reaction to Lady Macbeth's death as existential crisis.  

11. I Q A of Macbeth's final scene in Act V as reflection of his realization that he has committed too many crimes to expect to be able to survive; he faces his fate head on. (Question to answer: Is this an acknowledgement of guilt, an overcoming of fear, and a going beyond desire-- or not?)

12.  Conclusion:  Significance of Macbeth's head being brought into the last scene. Summary of support for thesis.

Alternate topic 3 outline:

There is only one significant difference between my outline and the one above it-- paragraph 2, so I'm going to use the other outline's language in place of what I originally had in most places:

1. Introduction of play, author, theme, psychological interpretation.
2. The original impression of Macbeth's character through Malcolm, Duncan, and others.

3. - 4. I Q A the Three Witches' prophecies for Macbeth and his reactions; explain the significance for his desires, conscience, and fears. I Q A of Cauchi.

5. - 6. I Q A Lady Macbeth and how her ambitions push Macbeth to commit regicide; they are aligned in their desire to be king and queen of Scotland. Answer question of whether her influence or his desire is most important. I Q A of Kimbrough: Lady M's "ungendering" in relation to her influence on M.

7. Connect Macbeth's action in killing Duncan, king of Scotland via I Q A to Abdalla’s article and what it means to be a legitimate king, and indicate how this action brings out his conscience (possible sense of guilt) and fears. 

8. I Q A about the psychological significance of Macbeth's hallucination of Banquo's ghost, and the interference of Macbeth's desire (and perhaps his fear) to maintain power with his guilt.  

9. I Q A of later stages of Macbeth's psychological deterioration (involving fear or guilt or both) during or after second scene of prophecy with 3 witches and the apparitions, including his response to knowledge of 
Macduff /Malcolm alliance. I Q A from either Cauchi or Kimbrough.

10. I Q A of Macbeth's reaction to Lady Macbeth's death as existential crisis.  

11. I Q A of Macbeth's final scene in Act V as reflection of his realization that he has committed too many crimes to expect to be able to survive; he faces his fate head on. (Question to answer: Is this an acknowledgement of guilt, an overcoming of fear, and a going beyond desire-- or not?)

12.  Conclusion:  Significance of Macbeth's head being brought into the last scene. Summary of support for thesis.

Outline for Topic 4: Lady Macbeth

1. Introduction: complexity of major characters, including Lady Macbeth, who presents possibility of bending gender.
2. I Q A of Francesca Cauchi’s and Robert Kimbrough’s essays to connect violating gender norms, guilt, and ways of overcoming guilt.
3. - 4. Critique of Cauchi's “dualist resurgence”; instead: focus on Lady M's “androgynous force” in I Q A of dialogues, decisions and desires geared toward traditionally ‘masculine’ behavior, etc. Focus heavily on relation between Lady M's methods of persuasion/language of gender and her sense of her identity and her husband's.
5. Via I Q A, demonstrate that Lady Macbeth’s circumvention of traditional gender conduct, applies also to her husband whom she goads to muster courage to commit a crime. Admonishing her husband, she exposes his latent feebleness.
6. Via I Q A, show that, against gender norms (i.e. meekness), Lady Macbeth expresses her desire and content of the desire—seize kingdom for her husband, and by extension, power for herself.
7. In Lady Macbeth, a moral voice (guilt) leads to her eventual resignation. I Q A to note signs of tentativeness, such as not killing Duncan.
8. Symbolism of the dagger anticipates Lady Macbeth’s tragic end: from egging Macbeth to keep the weapon hidden to admitting her involvement in the crime. (Cauchi's essay: I Q A)
9. The dagger is the instrument of the crime and the later bearer of guilt unsettling Lady Macbeth and Macbeth, who wish to get rid of paralyzing guilt.
10. - 11. I Q A of how, manifesting fear and/or guilt,  Lady Macbeth is haunted by her and her husband's acts, hallucinating in ways that remind her of what they did, ultimately pushing her to kill herself. (Whether she does actually kill herself is open to interpretation.) This shows her failure, spoiling the potentially useful questioning of gender norms.
12. Conclusion: Lady Macbeth’s defeat  marks the victory of humanity against efforts to make someone's interests more powerful than the majority’s. Here, the play sides with good over evil.
Lady Macbeth is the play’s negative heroine, being a principal driving force (with negative intentions) in the events. 

I have incorporated my allternate outline for topic 4 into a few sections above.

Frances contributed this thesis:

Thesis: 

For every hero there is greater villain such as Lady Macbeth.  In Shakespeare’s play “Macbeth,” we can experience the psychological journey one of the most hated and controversial female characters written during the late Elizabethan/early Jacobean era of England.  Shakespeare was known to create intricate yet contradictory characters such as the hero/anti-hero Macbeth which incontrovertibly humanizes and de-vilifies our leading lady.  Lady’s Macbeth’s “bilateral” development enables us to a gain a greater perspective of what is was like to have lived through many of her untreated psychological disorders. 

TF:  A thesis statement can be shorter  than the one above, although every detail (except for the first, debatable sentence). The second sentence and the first half of the third sound like they belong in the introduction of the essay.  Therefore, this could be the thesis:  

The heroism/antiheroism of Macbeth humanizes and de-vilifies his wife, whose untreated psychological disorders-- _____________--are sympathetically (or objectively?) rendered in the play.

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The low stakes assignment for Wednesday is to do a tentative outline for the paper. I will read everyone's outline and give it credit, but then I will take the best elements of every outline and develop 4 to 6 outline choices that we will go over during the next class. Therefore, I won't be commenting on your individual outlines.

The outlines will have the same format as the ones we agreed upon for essay 1, except that they will be longer; each number indicates one paragraph, and sometimes, 2 (or even 3!) paragraphs will be used to deal with one aspect of the paper (for example, the interaction of one character with another. This is an example of the format:

1. Introduction

2. - 3.

4.

5.

6. - 7.

8.

9.

10. - 11.

12. Conclusion

The topics: 

1. Does Shakespeare’s Macbeth, criticize, partly criticize and partly reinforce, or support patriarchy (male dominance) in 16^th/17^thcentury England? Support your thesis with an analysis of the representation of particular male and female characters, the interaction of characters, and the use of language to convey gender. Present and evaluate relevant aspects of the arguments of Robert Kimbrough and Laila Abdalla as part of your analysis.

   2. How does Shakespeare’s Macbeth provide an analysis an evaluation of power relations in a European monarchy of his time? Does the play support, oppose, to express ambivalence about the “divine right of kings”? Support your thesis with analysis of the representation of particular characters, their interaction, and the use of language to convey power relations. Present and evaluate relevant aspects of the arguments of Laila Abdalla and either Francesa Cauchi or Robert Kimbrough as part of your analysis.

   3. Perform a psychological analysis of Macbeth in Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Include a consideration of his underlying (perhaps unconscious) desires, fears, and sense of guilt (conscience or superego) and how they influence his behavior and interactions with other characters at crucial points in the play. In discussing his ultimate “destiny” in the play, indicate how these psychological aspects contribute to what happens to him. Present and evaluate relevant aspects of the arguments of Francesa Cauchi and either Robert Kimbrough or Laila Abdalla as part of your analysis.

   4. Perform a psychological analysis of Lady Macbeth in Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Include a consideration of her underlying (perhaps unconscious) desires, fears, and sense of guilt (conscience or superego) and how they influence her behavior and interactions with other characters at crucial points in the play. In discussing her ultimate “destiny” in the play, indicate how these psychological aspects contribute to what happens to her. Present and evaluate relevant aspects of the arguments of two of the three critics (Abdalla, Kimbrough, and Cauchi) as part of your analysis.